Anyone that can use ‘egg salad‘ in a song title gets a thumbs up here.
5 Neat Guys rock the world.
Welcome to Malarky Monday!
You know the drill by now: read, laugh, spit and repeat . . .
Just visit our crazy friends in hijinx:
This week is all about the crocs.
You’ll see what we mean.
First a little swamp humor:
Two crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, ‘I can’t
understand how you can be so much bigger than me.
We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.’
‘Well,’ said the big Croc, ‘what have you been eating?’
‘Politicians, same as you,’ replied the small Croc.
‘Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?’
‘Down the other side of the swamp near the ANC parking lot by the
‘Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?’
‘Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to
unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, and
shake the shit out of them then eat ‘em!’
‘Ah!’ says the big Crocodile, ‘I think I see your problem.
You’re not getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there’s nothing left but an
asshole with a briefcase.”
How about a croc comic strip?
Or how about a crock of shit?
What a tool.
Happy Malarky Monday folks!
Remember to always keep that sunny side up!
It’s Malarky Monday and we here at Dilligaf are committed to one thing today:
your amusement and instant gratification.
Put on your smiley face and check out this weeks offering.
This is similar to last week’s ‘letter’ theme, although it’s drastically different in subject matter.
After your soiree here, please visit our gangsta Malarky posse!
*cue the violins, please
Here is the best break up letter we’ve seen yet.
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way.
There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won’t even
try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a
stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us,
what I can’t handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird, the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn’t crack a smile
if you paid me, there are songs I can’t listen to, and I just feel
I don’t know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn’t.
I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this
is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
stupid, I can’t imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and
weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn’t reflect
that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I
hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back
what happened. I am so sorry.
Thank you for your concern. I’ll be sure to file it away under ‘L’ for
‘Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn’t care less about’.
You did a stupid thing huh?
No…doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is ‘a stupid
thing’; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is ‘a stupid thing’;
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you’re taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn’t as much a ‘Stupid thing’ as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar.
To be honest, I’m not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span,
or that you seemed to think
that by saying ‘Well, I didn’t fuck him’ somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn’t care less if the world ‘looked funny’ to you
Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I’m sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else’s feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don’t think
you’re a terrible person, they just think you’re the average run of the
mill cum-guzzling queen who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector.
*By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate.
Just thought you might like to know.
PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.
Talk to you never,
Happy Malarky Monday peeples!
Welcome to Malarky Monday, mates!
This is the one day of the week that we try and make you laugh
or at the least take the piss out of you!
This is our Silver Anniversary folks!
25 bloody posts!
Please visit our friends in hijinx and freind us on Facebook too!
This week is all about ‘the Bartender’ . . .
And believe us when we tell you, the bartender hates you
(well, some of you)
The bartender hates you but he makes us laugh our asses off!
Happy Malarky Monday all!
Please leave a comment so we know you were here!
the fine folks at Dilligaf
It’s Malarky Monday once again.
We’re thinking you know the drill by now.
We put up something we think is funny and entertaining and you laugh.
So we hope.
Now listen folks, this week’s offering is a bit racial and definitely offensive.
By that we mean it’s racial and definitely offensive.
It’s also funny as hell.
Anyone that calls the ACLU, know that we will hunt you down.
Considering the number of hits and comments we’ve gotten here lately
we’re reeeeeeaaaal fucking worried. [NOT!]
If you’re easily offended, please close your browser and go pet a kitten.
Happy Malarky Monday folks!
Be sure to visit Moe, Mark and ~m after you leave!
Now here’s a tasty video courtesy of YouTube and Mr. David Chappelle.
This is Chappelle on the origin of the word ‘nigger’.
Put on your Depends, phuckers.
Welcome to Malarky Monday here at Dilligaf!
Today we offer you some funk music and a funny football clip.
Yeah, we took the video way out.
It’s all good though.
If you have never seen Eddie Murphy do the ‘Godfather’ James Brown,
you are in for a real treat.
This was very hard to find but well worth the effort.
Check out ‘Hot Tub’.
And in honor of the Super Bowl, Men on Football
So gay, it’s funny.
Now get off your ass and visit our fellow clowns!
Here at Dilligaf it’s all about dicks this week for Malarky Monday.
We apologize for our recent lack of posting
(too busy celebrating the holidays!)
As we said, this week it’s all about the dicks.
This video shows a ‘King’ of dicks.
Great King, real bad magician.
Never a brilliant combination.
Even if this is a bit of ‘Hollywood’ hijinx, it made us howl anyway. <–click here!!!!!>
Still a dick, though . . .
A hot TV announcer tossing her cookies on live TV?
Yeah, she is a dick.
But she’s hot.
Last but certainly not least, Chinese people that have no clue about the
English language are dicks.
The store in the picture below actually exists.
The Chinese name translates as “King of the Black People”.
Click here for more on the story.
Now go and visit our demented mates!
Happy Monday, folks.
Something about this video warms the cockles of our hearts.
We love Eric!
Please tell the elves to go fuck themselves.
A favorite Christmas tune.
Sorry, ladies but this is just too damn funny . . .
Maybe it’s a last minute gift idea for those dim-witted guys.
Dilligaf to the rescue.
Just be sure to get a nice box.