Anyone that can use ‘egg salad‘ in a song title gets a thumbs up here.
5 Neat Guys rock the world.
Kinda.

DG

Alas, the Malarky Monday postings have reached the end of the road.
After @6months of hysterical posts,
the traffic just didn’t support
the effort to get these suckers done once a week.
Have no fear though,
Malarky Monday isn’t going away forever.
Each week we will spin the blog and one of us will deliver the chuckles and the goods.
Stop by here next week and find out who the chosen one will be.

This week, ~m will get you chuckling and snorting until the cows come home.
Be sure to stop by Smoke and Mirrors and tell ~m that we sent you!
Until next time, keep laughing folks.

~the freaks of Dilligaf

Moe
Mark
~m

This week is all about the crocs.
You’ll see what we mean.

First a little swamp humor:

Two crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, ‘I can’t
understand how you can be so much bigger than me.
We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.’

‘Well,’ said the big Croc, ‘what have you been eating?’

‘Politicians, same as you,’ replied the small Croc.

‘Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?’

‘Down the other side of the swamp near the ANC parking lot by the
Union Buildings.’

‘Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?’

‘Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to
unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, and
shake the shit out of them then eat ‘em!’

‘Ah!’ says the big Crocodile, ‘I think I see your problem.
You’re not getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there’s nothing left but an
asshole with a briefcase.”

How about a croc comic strip?

Or how about a crock of shit?

Matching crocs?
What a tool.

Happy Malarky Monday folks!
Remember to always keep that sunny side up!

Then when you have spat on your monitor go and do the same at!

~m, Moe and Burnie’s place.

A few failures to start.

How about a few “I do not believe I did that”?

A few more non English speaking funnies?

And last one for this week.

The number one reason why they have so much trouble getting out of fires.

One of our own is missing a much loved one who has departed  this life,

And as a mark of respect and love for this amazing man we will continue next Monday.

God bless and take into his arms Walter M Murphy. Left this world March 23 2010.

When you are finished here go to.

HERE

HERE

and OK HERE as well.

For more fun and laughter.

First up a few photos.

One little joke

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in France. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed.

He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself “Wouldn’t it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me.” He went back to gathering the snails.

All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place. They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there.

At seven o’clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, “Oh no!!! My wife’s dinner party!!!” He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door.

He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he’s been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said: “Come on guys, we’re almost there!”

And last of all a group of true Idiots.

Trying to keep dry in a flood.

Safest place in a flood?

Anonymum
Burnie
Badsneaker

*cue the violins, please

Here is the best break up letter we’ve seen yet.

Dick,

Here are a few little stories to make you laugh.

Then go over and see ~m, Moe and Burnie for a few more.

First a letter from a grateful housewife to a Laundry Powder Company.

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!  I’ve used it all of my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best.  Now that I am in my forties I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.  My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!  I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!  In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were inconclusive and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go. Have to write to the

Hefty bag people.

“I just got a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes

to the starving people throughout the world.”

“I told them to fuck off !

Anybody who fits into my clothes isn’t starving”!

and last of all for all you cowboys.

Cowboy’s Honeymoon

A cowboy and his new wife had just got married and found a nice

hotel for their wedding night.

The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.

He said, ‘We’re on our honeymoon and we need a nice room with a

good strong bed. The clerk winked, ‘You want the ‘Bridal’ ?

The cowboy reflected on this for a moment and then replied,

“Nope, I reckon not. I’ll just hold on to her ears until she get used to it.

Have a great week.

*Moe
*Morky
*BadSneaker

This week is all about ‘the Bartender’ . . .
And believe us when we tell you, the bartender hates you
(well, some of you)

The bartender hates you but he makes us laugh our asses off!
Happy Malarky Monday all!
Please leave a comment so we know you were here!

the fine folks at Dilligaf

Lets try some Political madness to make you laugh.

Then drop over to ~m, Moe and burning again today Burnie.

This is what the First Couples looked like coming into the White House and the second photo what they will look like going out…

Don’t even try to tell me you’re not laughing!!!