It’s Malarky Monday once again.
We’re thinking you know the drill by now.
We put up something we think is funny and entertaining and you laugh.
So we hope.
Now listen folks, this week’s offering is a bit racial and definitely offensive.
By that we mean it’s racial and definitely offensive.
It’s also funny as hell.
Anyone that calls the ACLU, know that we will hunt you down.
Considering the number of hits and comments we’ve gotten here lately
we’re reeeeeeaaaal fucking worried. [NOT!]
If you’re easily offended, please close your browser and go pet a kitten.
Happy Malarky Monday folks!
Be sure to visit Moe, Mark and ~m after you leave!
Now here’s a tasty video courtesy of YouTube and Mr. David Chappelle.
This is Chappelle on the origin of the word ‘nigger’.
Put on your Depends, phuckers.
Welcome to Malarky Monday here at Dilligaf!
Today we offer you some funk music and a funny football clip.
Yeah, we took the video way out.
It’s all good though.
If you have never seen Eddie Murphy do the ‘Godfather’ James Brown,
you are in for a real treat.
This was very hard to find but well worth the effort.
Check out ‘Hot Tub’.
And in honor of the Super Bowl, Men on Football
So gay, it’s funny.
Now get off your ass and visit our fellow clowns!
It’s MONDAY! Time to try and make you all laugh.
When i have either done that or shocked you run as fast as you can over to
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Lebanon.
Two million Lebanese have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn’t know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
The United States is sending troops to help.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The small island country New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops. The European community (except France) is sending money. The Asian continents are sending labour to assist in rebuilding infrastructure.
The Australians, not to be outdone, are sending two million replacement Lebanese.
God Bless Our Aussie generosity.
A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, ‘How can I help you?’ The farmer said, ‘I want to get one of them dayvorces.’
The lawyer said, ‘Do you have any grounds?’ The farmer said, ‘Yes, I got 40 acres’
The lawyer said, ‘No, No, you don’t understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, ‘Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.’
The lawyer said, ‘No, no, I mean, do you have a case?’ The farmer said, ‘No, I ain’t got a Case, but I got a John Deere.
The lawyer said, ‘No, I mean, do you have a grudge?’ The farmer said,’Yes, I got a grudge, that’s where I parks the John Deere’
The lawyer said, ‘Does your wife beat you up or something?’ The farmer said, ‘No, we both get up at 4:30.’
By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question. The lawyer said, ‘Is your wife a nagger?’
The farmer said, ‘No, she’s a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that’s why I wants a dayvorce.’
New Bruce Highway Zero Tolerance Speed Camera
With the Bruce Highway ‘s death toll continuing to increase, this will be
the first year that Zero Tolerance Speed Cameras will be used.
The new cameras look a bit different than normal speed surveillance cameras.
I have included a photo so that you will know what to look for as you’re
traveling around the great state of Queensland . Make sure you do not speed
when approaching one.
Please take this warning seriously as these new devices offer no warnings
or second chances.
and last but not least,
“BEER” BY SEVEN YEAR OLDS
A handful of 7 year old children were asked ‘What they thought of beer’.
Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially good.
‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.’
–Tim, 7 years old
‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. ‘
–Mellanie, 7 years old
‘My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn’t think this is very funny.’
–Grady, 7 years old
”My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.’
–Toby, 7 years old
‘My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much.
–Sarah, 7 years old
‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.’
–Lilly, 7 years old
‘I don’t like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.’
–Ethan, 7 years old
‘I give Dad’s beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.’
–Shirley, 7 years old
‘My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again. But that doesn’t make any sense.’
–Jack, 7 years
Monday again! here is my small effort to make you smile.
The Frog and Golf
A man goes out golfing.
He is on the second hole when
he notices a frog sitting next to the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.”
The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone.
Again, he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.”
He looks at the frog and decides to
prove the frog wrong, puts the club
away, and grabs a 9 iron.
He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog,
“Wow that’s amazing.
You must be a lucky frog?”
The frog replies, “Ribbit Lucky frog.”
The man decides to take the frog with
him to the next hole.
“What do you think frog?” the man asks.
“Ribbit 3 wood.”
The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom!
Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn’t know
what to say.
By the end of the day, the man golfed
the best game of golf in his life and asks
the frog, “OK where to next?”
The frog replies, “Ribbit Las Vegas .”
” They go to Las Vegas and the guy says,
“OK frog, now what?”
The frog says, “Ribbit Roulette.”
Upon approaching the roulette table,
the man asks, “What do you think I
The frog replies, “Ribbit $3000, black 6.”
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Tons of cash comes sliding back across
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.
He sits the frog down and says, “Frog,
I don’t know how to repay you.
You’ve won me all this money and I am
The frog replies, “Ribbit Kiss Me. “
He figures why not, since after all the
Monday Monday , so good for you. (serenaded to you in a true Neil Diamond voice)
Now for some more high jinx.
A father and son should go shopping together I think.
And last of all.
Sometimes the simplest jokes are the best…..
Daffy duck on a dirty weekend calls reception and asks for a condom.
The reception says, “Shall I put them on your bill?”
“Don’t be thucking thupid I’d thufficate.”
Now go over and have a laugh with these fine people.
This weeks Malarky Monday is going to be a mixed bag.
Somewhere near Rochester,New York, Ed set out to bag his buck at 5:30 a.m.. By 11:30 a.m., he was exhausted and hungry–and still no buck.
At 12 noon, the mighty hunter Ed guards the remains of his lunch while a passerby snaps a quiet photo while trying not to startle the deer with a belly laugh.
Shot from the USS HONOLULU (Los Angeles-class fast attack submarine)
at the Arctic Circle,280 miles from the North Pole–
is there anything that scares a polar bear?
Ah Community Spirit at work!
More helpful hints?
And last but not least!
If you do not understand that maybe you would believe this guy?
Now do not forget to go see the rest of the Loony Toons as well.
Time for some music here at Dilligaf.
This is John Mayer from his ‘Live in LA’ CD.
Simply amazing guitar work and an incredible performance.
Check it out.
Here at Dilligaf it’s all about dicks this week for Malarky Monday.
We apologize for our recent lack of posting
(too busy celebrating the holidays!)
As we said, this week it’s all about the dicks.
This video shows a ‘King’ of dicks.
Great King, real bad magician.
Never a brilliant combination.
Even if this is a bit of ‘Hollywood’ hijinx, it made us howl anyway. <–click here!!!!!>
Still a dick, though . . .
A hot TV announcer tossing her cookies on live TV?
Yeah, she is a dick.
But she’s hot.
Last but certainly not least, Chinese people that have no clue about the
English language are dicks.
The store in the picture below actually exists.
The Chinese name translates as “King of the Black People”.
Click here for more on the story.
Now go and visit our demented mates!
Happy Monday, folks.
Being the sick bastards we are, we’re never scared to jump in and create some mayhem in the blogoshpere, so we said fuck yeah!
This week it’s all about the girls, with their wants and needs, so we thought we would bring them some Chippendales from foreign lands.
1. From Greece
2. From Russia
3. From India
4. From Tibet
5. From Egypt
6. (and our personal favourite) From Africa
Something about this video warms the cockles of our hearts.
We love Eric!
Please tell the elves to go fuck themselves.